The Book Club

For a number of painful years, I felt so alone in my world of mothering addiction. 

Then miraculously, one by one, I crossed paths with old friends and acquaintances who also came out of the shadows to reveal their reality of having an addict child.  
Five of us (mothers) formed a small Al-Anon group, where we have been following the 12 Steps.  
We call ourselves The Book Club.  
Easier to say when you don’t want to get into details…  
We cry, we belly laugh, we spew expletives – VERY therapeutic – and then we get back to the 12 Steps.  
The focus remains on ourselves and how we can reframe our relationship 
with our child. 
Alot easier said than done.

To this day, it doesn’t take much for those old emotions to push back up to the surface and attempt to wear me down again. 

Now, I have a small group of angels who are but a phone call away…  🙂 

                                                                                              





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Rock Bottom

How many times have you heard the term rock bottom ? 

It can relate to many struggles of life …. jobs, marriage, children and, of course, addiction. It’s a relative term. What one substance abuser calls rock bottom, another one might call just getting warmed up.

My son has been incarcerated several times for drug related charges. My husband and I nicknamed him Houdini, because many other times he seemed to slip slide his way out of charges. Maybe it’s also because the Colorado courts are overcrowded and they cannot begin to house all of the minimum to moderate risk offenders. 

I’d like to think his close calls would have left him appropriately fearful of being arrested and jailed again. But honestly, I don’t think they’ve been enough of a deterrent. This most recent test of fate landed another felony charge and at last, the Judge handed down an appropriate sentence.  As of today, he is still in transition from the Receiving and Diagnostic Center, still on 23 hour lockdown and can’t seem to get an answer as to when he will be processed to a permanent facility.  This maximum security situation is wearing thin, as was evident in his voice on the phone last night. I pray that he will take this time, behind bars, to do some serious soul-searching.

In prior conversations, he stated that he has finally reached rock bottom. Spending five weeks in a 23 hour lockdown would certainly do it for me….
Only time will tell. The recidivism rate is high if offenders don’t follow through with consistent aftercare.  I hope that this rock bottom is real.

   
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Addiction Trip

When I travel, I’ll type my destination into a GPS to make sure I don’t get 
lost along the way.

Addiction has no road map or GPS.  
It’s an endless drag punctuated by slow climbs, out of control downhills 
and harrowing hairpin turns — an accident waiting to happen.

Parents drive this highway a car length or two behind their addicted child.
We seek directional advice from experts in a desperate attempt to help 
them avoid the crash and burn.

Ultimately, the addict is responsible for his or her own journey.



















 






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No Picnic

My son is transitioning from a Colorado county jail to a minimum security penitentiary.  Try using the words “my son” and “penitentiary” in the 
same sentence.  
But he was convicted of possession and distribution charges.

He is currently at a Reception and Diagnostic Center, where he’s being 
evaluated to determine which medical, social and educational services 
he’ll receive as an inmate.  The assessment process can take up to a month.  
During that time, the penitentiary mandates a 23-hour lockdown –
no picnic.  After the Diagnostic Center completes their work up, he’ll be 
moved into the prison system to continue serving his time.

He should remain there until the first quarter of 2013.  
He’s been incarcerated several times, just never at the State level.  
One of my prayers is that he’ll get a little more traction this time.  
The Department of Corrections (DOC) offers opportunities for work, 
education and therapy.  
Telephone communication is limited while he’s in this facility, so he’s been 
using the downtime to write letters.








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