Earlier this week, I went to Pat for a semi-annual tune up.
In the December 11, 2012 post, Team Therapy and Tuckers, I talked about the tag-teaming efforts of my counselor, Pat, and her husband, an outstanding psychiatrist, Dr. Martin Buxton.
I hit the jack pot with these two, but also give myself a lot of credit. They gave me the tools to do the work. And I’m still working hard at it — everyday.
A considerable focus of our work was learning to set healthy boundaries. The word, boundary, can have a negative connotation, but in fact, boundaries are vital to our well-constructed personal development.
Lorne Ladner, in The Lost Art of Compassion, says that boundaries are analogous to the stakes and wire used to help keep young trees firmly planted, growing sturdy and straight. Not too slack and not too tight.
However, we need to become proficient at knowing when to apply boundaries and when to relax them.
“Setting boundaries involves being honest and direct with others, even if they don’t want to hear what we have to say. It involves protecting and taking care of ourselves. It’s important for our sense of self-respect.
Where we set personal boundaries is an individual decision,” Ladner states.
Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: physical, mental and emotional. Check out Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.
An amazing sense of calm accompanies a healthy boundary setting epiphany.
It feels really good.
“The Work” works.